And Stay Out!

So I am feeling cranky today. Having had a week of period-induced mood swings and being banned from the computer after I read the news on Shakesville and broke down sobbing, I was looking forward to some Halloween fun. And there was some fun- I got to tie-dye my underwear, and be a really cute Velma! (These two facts really aren't related.)

Ferret and I were looking forward to going to the Halloween party at Local Gay Bar, checking out costumes, having a drink, and watching the drag show. One of the performers is a friend of ours, and we always like seeing her work. Unfortunately, it turned out to be not so fun. It was so crowded the Fire Marshal would have fainted, and so full of cigarette smoke our eyes started to water as soon as we stepped in. But we were determined to have a good time. There were some great costumes, good performance, plus we paid the cover charge, dammit! I was hoping to stick it out to see the costume contest, but we finally gave up and headed out. As we fought our way out, we heard the emcee say, "How many lesbians we got up in here?" [cheer] "Now how many gay boys?" [cheer] "And where are the straight people?" [really loud cheer].

Yup. The straight people outnumbered the queers in the one gay bar in town. And maybe it's my hormones, but that really bugged me. I try, I really do, to be inclusive. And I want everyone to get along. And I feel kind of... mean saying this, but:

Dear Straight People: EVERY OTHER BAR IN TOWN is for you. But hey, thanks a bunch for crowding me and my partner out of the one club we feel comfortable in because you want a cheap thrill on Halloween. Hey, you know what? The drag performers don't just do this on Halloween. They do it all the time. It's their thing. You can come see it even when you aren't in a costume. You can come see it even if you're sober. Yeah. But you'd know that, if you weren't all jerks. By the way, fuck you.

See? That's mean, right? But it's how I feel. There're never that many straight people there on a regular night, and there definitely isn't that level of binge-drunk stupidity.

Maybe if it hadn't been so crowded as to be the opposite of fun I wouldn't be bitching so much. Maybe. Maybe if there was that kind of crowd, with that percentage of non-queers, all the time, it would be different. Maybe I wouldn't feel like my community was made into a tourist attraction for one night. Maybe I wouldn't feel like my space had been taken over and appropriated. Maybe if there was more of a visible gay community, I wouldn't feel like this place is really all we have. Maybe if, I reiterate, every other bar in town wasn't a "regular" (meaning "for straight people" bar), this wouldn't be a big deal for me. Maybe.

Great. I feel angry, and I feel like an exclusionary bigot at the same time.

Oh well, next weekend it'll be back to normal.

Happy Halloween.

(By the way, if I go into the grocery store tonight and hear a bunch of cross-wearing preppies talking excitedly about their "Sam-hane night ritual", you'll see me on the news. I'll be the one in handcuffs.)

I really have no patience with anyone, do I?

Ink Link

So this is my tattoo. It's my first tattoo ever. I decided to make my personal political and get a femme spiral on my shoulder. I then decided to treat you to an extreme closeup of it. Yay!

It is indeed a vine. Points for noticing that. It symbolizes my religion, and also, yes, my incredible pretensiousness.

It's very new in this picture, which explains the shiny tat goo all over it. 

And oh yeah, please ignore the fact that I am very extemely pale. I am Whitey McNoTan von Needstoseethesunmore.

...My very first ink! Squee!

...And here is a kitteh picture, as requested by PhysioProf. And as a refreshing change from me and my epidermis.

 

Chaos and Nomad are conquering the laundry basket. For strategic nap purposes.

You Come To It

So I was thinking last night about these wacky fundies and their need to control the universe. I was thinking about Obama and his "No-really-see-I'm-devout-but-not-crazy" style of Christianity, and I was thinking about Wicca and how it's (usually) so utterly different from the way these church-goers behave.

I was thinking, in short, about religion. And I was doing it in the shower, mostly because I'd forgotten the fifth verse in that song about the old ladies in the lavatory. But still, thought is thought. Right?

Right. Anyway...

Some time ago I had a conversation with a friend of my mother-in-law, let's call her L. L is very nice, and very intelligent, and a McCain voter (though I tend to think of those last two things as a contradiction in terms). But the conversation swung around to religion and it has stayed with me, because it gave me some insight into the minds of some of these godbags.

L was asking me (very respectfully) about Wicca, how I came to it, what it's about, and all the usual things. She asked me about churches, and holidays, and ritual worship practices, and asked why I'm so reluctant to talk about it. I sigh. "Partially because I'm uncomfortable talking about my beliefs, because it's personal. And partly, and more importantly, because I don't want to be seen as trying to convert anyone. That's not how it works."
I told her this, and she was astounded. She asked incredulously "But doesn't it make you happy? Improve your life?"

"Yes, this is what feels right for me."

"Then if it makes you happy, why wouldn't you want to share that with everyone?"

And I didn't couldn't seem to explain to her my firm belief that what works for one person may not necessarily work for all, and that I don't need to tout my religion to all and sundry as "the way", because it is what it is- and also I believe in thinking for yourself.

So finally I smiled at her as mysteriously as I could and stated: "Wicca doesn't come to you. You come to it."

"Oh," she said, wide-eyed.

And on some level it was just to end the subject, but really I do kind of feel that way. There's no such thing as a Wiccan missionary. We don't recruit. Everybody I've met who comes to it, finds their own path.

And forgive me but I much prefer it to evangelizing- much quieter, for a start. Why it should be so hard to grasp that hello! not everyone wants to 'accept Jesus as their personal savior', I've no idea. I think it'd be great if they took a leaf from our book (which they started out with anyway and rewrote to suit themselves; Halloween, Easter, and Christmas, anyone? ...Ahem), and just let people come to them; a religion that's forced on you can't be very enlightening, can it?

But I know my experience isn't the only experience. Any opinions?

Jesus called. He wants his religion back.

Aaaand the Vatican once again proves that the leaders of the Catholic church are a bunch of aliens who have no concept of humanity or empathy.

You bunch of fucking assholes.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

This girl is NINE. Nine years old. She was raped and in all likelihood would have died. And quite possibly the TWINS she was carrying would have died. But on the off-chance that no one died, she would have had twins. At nine years old. The product of rape. At nine. By her stepfather. I mean, dear fucking gods have mercy.

So... she had an abortion, which is about all that could be done to preserve the life and sanity of this poor girl. And in a slightly saner world, that would have been it. It would have been private, and over with, and on to therapy. 

But then. Somehow, the church got involved. And then there was more torture. And a complete and utter lack of compassion.

And the church excommunicated the mother and the doctors, called it murder, and have been very censorious about the whole thing. Big surprise. Assholes.

Amazingly, though, the stepfather? He's not been excommunicated. In fact, not one word about him. Also? Not one word about this little girl and the suffering imposed on her- by men, who will never have to go through this but keep trying to control it.

I guess you could say I'm religious- I believe there's more out there than us; that there's things we don't know and may never know. I believe in the divine. 

As a Wiccan, I live by the Wiccan Rede and the Rule of Three: "do as you will, an it harm none" and "every action you take, for good or ill, returns to you, threefold". Watch what you do, try not to hurt people and be aware of the impact of your words and actions. It's not hard. 

Christians are supposed to be doing the same things- remember "love thy neighbor"? What about "let he who is without sin cast the first stone"? Religion is supposed to be there to teach us to be good to one another, to do no harm, and for those who are wronged, see that justice is done or at least that comfort is given to the hurting.

Why then is religion suddenly no longer concerned with these things? Where is this girl's comfort? Where is the justice for the man who harmed her? And why are all these Bishops surreptitiously picking up rocks? No wonder so many people are abandoning religion these days- it teaches them nothing good. 

Pessimistic maybe, but that's how I'm feeling.

People who are supposed to follow the example of a man of a man who sought love, peace, and the commonalities of all people- and they all seem to be promoting fear, hatred, and shame. What the hell is going on here?? 

...The cognitive dissonance makes my head ache.

More Fuzzy Blogging

So... the cat, a few weeks ago, caught a mouse. Admittedly, she needed a practice run first. (The practice run involved grabbing a mouse that was already caught in a trap and bringing it- trap still included- downstairs to play with.)

I know, this is a small thing, right? She caught a mouse. Mice die all the time. But still. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Life is precious, even a mouse's life. Also, have you ever stepped on a mouse corpse at 5 am when you get up to pee? The correct wording in that situation is "Ack!"

But I know I prefer cats to traps, if mice must perish. And I don't know why except it seems like cats are more fair. Cats are meant to catch mice. Traps are these inanimate objects we bait with cheese and then- snap! It's too convenient. Cats catching- and theoretically eating- mice is part of How Things Are, that traditional mindset that influences the way we live because It's Always Been Done This Way. Usually this is bad. Is it bad this time? Or is cats and mice part of the balance to be maintained? Is this compatible with my beliefs? Should I praise Haven's hunting skills or scold her for violence? Mice must die so that she may live. 

And so they don't poop everywhere and nibble the entire house to pieces. In a house with mice, cats are necessary.

Am I being hypocritical because I don't want to think of Haven as a fluffy little killer?
...Well, maybe.

That conclues this week's Incoherent Random Posting!

Green Skin Optional

As I was saying, I hate the reducing of an important part of history and culture to an opportunity for yet more cheap commercialism. I fucking hate it with a fiery passion, and with this holiday it's personal.

Witches are a big part of the imagery of Halloween; hell, lots of girls dress up as a witch at some point. But honestly? I find it to be as stereotypical and lazy as putting on some buckskin and a feather headband and calling yourself an "Indian" for Halloween. It's othering, it's tired, and frankly it annoys me. Am I being "too PC"? Am I spoiling your Halloween fun? Yeah, I don't care. The next stupid 'witch' image I see is gonna send me running for the hills; I just can't get away from them. Toss-up whether it'll be of a "sexy witch" in a black minidress or a "spooky witch" with green skin and warts.

I'm a witch. I'm a Wiccan. They're not the same, just so you know.
And would you believe it? I don't ride a broomstick. I don't own a cauldron, or turn people into frogs (although that might be kinda cool), or have green skin (who the hell has green skin, anyway?), or wear a pointy hat. I have a cat, but she's not black.

I have no problem with "mainstream Halloween". Holidays are important for a reason. They're part of the culture that shapes us, and that's a big deal. Also, who doesn't love an excuse to party? It's fun, and maybe someone occasionally thinks about the 'why' behind the costumes and candy- anything that sparks intellectual curiosity can't be too bad. The problem I have is with throwing on a tired stereotype because it's easy or because it came with a short skirt. There are so many things to be, can we please just kind of retire this one thing? I promise the mummies won't revolt, nor will Frankenstein's monster, nor the Wolfman, if scary's what you're after. Vampires are still up for grabs, even.

Seriously, before you go out dressed as a witch for Halloween this year, totin' your broom and wearing your pointy hat, think about it. Think about how offensive you'd say it was to do this to say, Asians, or POCs- yeah, some idiots still think "blackface" is funny. It's maybe not quite as asshole-tastic, but it's a matter of degree, in my opinion. You aren't a witch, a Spanish senorita, or a Japanese geisha (unless you actually are), so why appropriate these images for this one day, instead of doing something creative? Hell, you could be the sexiest mustard bottle ever.

Think about it. And think about the very angry lecture I will give you, should I happen to see you dressed as a witch.

Chocolate and Dead People

We take a break from our regularly scheduled feminist snark to bring you: Wicca snark!
The lovely SublimeFemme was asking about my Halloween plans and while they do include pumpkin carving and trick or treating with my little sibs-in-law (henceforth known as Thing Red and Thing Dino), they also include my Samhain-night ritual.

For those who're pagan-challenged, Samhain (usually pronounced SOW-in or SAH-vin, but please, not Sam-hayne) means "end of summer", and is the end of the pagan year. It's also known as All Hallow's Eve. It occurs on either October 31st or November 1st. It's a night for celebrating the final harvest, acknowledging the dark half of the year, and if communicating with spirits is your thing, it's a night for that too. It can be rowdy as hell or a solemn ritual, or both.
I don't know if you know this, but a lot of Halloween traditions come from this festival. It was a night for frightening away evil spirits with faces carved into turnips, for lighting bonfires to warm the dead or scare them away, for slaughtering the last of the livestock for winter storage and gathering the last crops (any left after this day were considered the property of the dead, and left in the fields).

Why am I explaining all this? Because it struck me that they don't teach the history of Halloween in most schools, and most people get their information from candy companies and scary movies. Oh, and Disney. And I hate the reducing of an important part of history and culture to an opportunity for yet more cheap commercialism. This is also something very personal and important to me, and it's my blog, dammit.

So now you know. We have treats, jack-lanterns, costumes, bonfires, and tricks because some dead Celtic guys didn't want to deal with a bunch of pissed off ghosts on this one night of the year. Well, sort of.
More on Wicca, Halloween, and stuff later, here at "things that piss me off dot com"!