Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
"You are an extreme stickler for things. Things have to be just the way you want them to be, but you can’t help it, it is just your crazy coming through. You may be some neat freak, very repetitive, or maybe you just can’t help but pull out 12 hairs every time you hear a train. Whatever it is, people tend to mistake you for being crazy, but guess what, you kinda are. And another thing, the world is not gonna end if you lighten up a bit."
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Kanye West did a really rude and uncouth thing, and there's a lot wrong with it. It makes him anasshat. It doesn't make him a n****r. Hey, folks? It's not okay to say the word nigger. (And that's the only time I'm typing it out.) It's just not. Especially not if you're white. I think even if you're a POC, it's not a nice word. But if you're white, can you stop? I hear too many people say this to justify it: "There's a difference between black people and n*****s".
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So last night watching the news- with my mom, no less- I heard about the shooting at the gym in Collier county. Some nut opened fire on a bunch of women, posted about it in his blog for months beforehand, and I bet the media/cops will talk about how 'he was a nice clean-cut quiet guy' and 'nobody could have predicted this'.
And, I'm sure, something about how women rejecting him is the cause of all this. When has it become okay to kill someone because they won't date you? When the fuck has rejection become a normal cause for homicide, and has it always been the woman's fault?
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
"As you know, I'm pro choice. But I think we also have a tradition of, in this town, historically, of not financing abortions as part of government funded health care."
Blogger RMJ, from Deeply Problematic, says this in reply:
"I have a tradition myself. It's a tradition of not being pregnant. I expect [Obama's] support on that. That's just how things work in the town of my uterus."
Yeah, Obama, you're sounding a little Bush-tastic these days. Please to stop being wimpy and use your powers for good instead of the same old stinky evil.
I will now be using "the town of my uterus" in a conversation as soon as I can. Also, "loinfruit". (It's a contraction of the phrase 'the fruit of my loins'- don't ask. Plus, it's a great name for a rock band!)
Go read her stuff, call out Obama, oh and maybe try to use the word loinfruit today, to see if it amuses you too!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I was listening to Napalm and Silly Putty in my car (yes, I listen to books in my car, I'm a geek), and I was struck by how some of his material is, yeah, really funny. But the rest of it? Incredibly cynical and mean. I'm sorry, but we seriously have enough people who think it's cool to be mean and cruel and not give a shit about other people. We have enough people who think it's funny, or laudable, or shows how 'edgy' you are. "I don't give a shit about nothin'!"
And Mr. Carlin was apparently one of those people.
I was listening to the bit where he's ranting about how he loves to watch bad things happen on the news because it entertains him. Explosions, war, death- better than cartoons, apparently. What the hell? Seriously, how did we come to this point? A guy talks about his extreme levels of schadenfreude like it's an admirable trait and we think it's funny?
When the hell did empathy go out of style? When did cruelty become the new thing? Where was I?
Hell, did I miss the point or something, overlook the exquisite irony of his semi-sociopathic raving? I know the man had legions of fans for most of his career, and maybe I'm a Humorless Feminist tm, but I can't really figure out why. Maybe I just don't see the humor in black humor. Sorry.
[EDIT:] In comments, PhysioProf mentions that George- to his knowledge- was not an asshole, and his rants were indeed sarcastic. I guess then that my problem with Carlin's rants is the same problem that befell Dave Chappelle- there are people who watch you say these things, and they are not smart enough to understand your true meaning. They're dumb enough or bigoted enough to take it at face value, and they use a famous person's distorted ideas to justify their own brand of bullshit. Honestly, a lot of the time I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. So that, then, is my problem with that. Not George himself. Sorry George.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I moved across town and enjoy the downtown historical area I now live in. I do not enjoy: having no shower, only a tub. Also: moving big furniture up 2 flights of stairs: NOT FUN. Just in case you are contemplating doing something like that? Don't.
The kittehs are thrilled with the long hallway down which they chase toys (usually jingly balls, at 3 am). I am not thrilled with the carpet in the kitchen (really, don't ask). I do like the window that leads directly out onto the roof. Kittehs not so much- they're miffed that they don't get to go out there and play. They like to wrestle with Ferret and nom her hands. They do not nom my hands. I don't know whether to be offended or just grateful. They are growing, slowly- still small and cute! Nomad likes to strut and display her adorable stub-tail and have it petted. Chaos will occasionally deign to go near me. (Chaos requires extra patience. Of course.) I may get off my ass and post more kitteh pixx in the near future.
I am sorry that I have been reading the Internets but not writing it. Sigh. So sad. I have been reading Tiger Beatdown, because Sady rocks, and reading Shakesville, and feeling bad that Melissa is (it seems to me) too nice to chuck metaphorical heavy objects at people who obviously suck, and these people are on her blog, making her sad.
I have been reading amusing things- A Hilarious Post I found through Shakesville that had me giggling in the library.
I have been playing with useful things- have you heard of Worldcat.org? It is a site that searches libraries. All of them. Everywhere. For whatever book/movie/etc. your twisted little heart desires. How you are to actually get them is your problem, but it does find them.
I have found a blog called Illustrocity with sexy sexy drawings- you should view them. And heap praise on their creator. If I had a working printer I'd print them out and have a fun night with my paints- it's Coloring For Grown-Ups.
That is all I can think of for now. I just wanted to make sure you all know (all 4 of you) that the rumors of my death were highly exaggerated.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
So I've been thinking a lot about weddings lately, partly as a way of avoiding thinking about marriage. When I think about marriage I not only have that nervous fear of "can I handle my lover's dirty socks for the rest of our lives?" but also anger at things like power of attorney, insurance coverage, and taxes. So why then would I be thinking about marriage? I'm unmellow enough as it is, yeah?
Because, finally, my ever-fabulous Ferret and I have decided on a date for our wedding. It's months away and it's driving me crazy already. I'm thinking about flowers and food and guests and budgets. I'm rolling my eyes at my own descent into madness: as I make lists and consider aesthetics, I'm a stressed-out combination of classic femme and professional organizer (which is what I am, after all).
I've been not-so-jokingly saying we should elope- weddings are a waste of time and money, they're heterosexist and patriarchal, and who the hell needs to deal with seating arrangements and froufrou when all you really want is a party, followed by a vacation (and at some point in there, lots of sex).
My Ferret changed my mind when I asked her in all seriousness why we didn't just do it and save time, money and stress. She simply replied, "I love you. I want to be with you for always, and I want the world to know it."
And I realized: I want that too.
…I hate when she's right. Damn crafty ferret logic.
That is it: the real and necessary reason behind the ceremony and celebration. All that fuss, all the energy expended and arrangements made and time and money spent and relatives gathered; it's because this is an important moment. I know lots of people still think of this as a coming-of-age rite. I have my doubts about that, knowing lots of single grownups and immature married folks. But either way, committing to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is a big deal. And all the hoopla is there to tell you and the world that this is important. You've found your love, your life, your partner, and it matters. At least that's how it seems to me.
So when people are less than enthused when I announce my upcoming nuptials, it's hard not to take it personally. My father still hasn't said anything to me at all yet- I thought "congratulations" at least should be a no-brainer. My mother is the one who told me she wasn't sure my father would want to walk me down the aisle.
I have no intention of being "given away"- I'm not a possession, and getting married makes me no less my own person. But it feels like I am blazing a new path here, and I'd like to be able to cling to some traditions as familiar landmarks. (Hey, some we're losing. Fuck that toss-the-bouquet nonsense.)
But to hear that my own father doesn't want to participate in one of the more significant events in his daughter's life; to hear, as I do in my mother's voice, that my parents don't share in my excitement and happiness- it makes me wonder. It makes me reconsider the whole thing. I do have a good relationship with my parents and thought they were used to the idea that their one and only girlchild wasn't going to make that walk with a dude. Now I'm not so sure.
If they can't share in this with me and be as happy about my wedding as they are about, say, my brother's, then what is the point?
…having just typed that, I know that I am lucky that my parents didn't disown, assault, or evict me when they found out (which makes me angry that that happens at all), but that doesn't mean I feel any better about what I perceive as their rejection of the validity of my relationship.
And then I think, fuck 'em. The people who really love me and Ferret for who we are, all we are, will be behind us. We have people who will share this with us. If anybody "isn't comfortable" with us (have you noticed that usually means "I'm homophobic but won't admit it"?), then they can stay away. More cake for the rest of us. I want no one at my wedding who is not a true friend.
Okay, I'm done ranting for now- I have to go look at lacy things and flowers on theknot.com.
Friday, May 8, 2009
It's kind of scary how I never see the word "rape" in newspapers anymore, even when it's the kind of "extreme" rape that not even MRAs can argue with. What's with the self-censorship of newspapers on just this word? They're supposed to keep us informed- that is, tell the truth objectively. What the fuck is this bullshit then?
I'm wondering if there's a protest group or something I can join, just to stop newspapers confusing 'rape' and 'sex'. How many letters and emails and phone calls will it take?
You know what's fucked up? I hear people all the time saying women get confused about 'what is rape and what is sex' (IE, "buyer's remorse" and oh how I hate that fucking term when it's applied to this), but these newspapers seem way more 'confused' than any woman I ever heard of.
What is so hard about the concept: "consent should be informed, enthusiastic, and oh yeah, conscious"?
It's a big freakin' difference, journalists. It's not a fine line, okay? It's a big fat glow-in-the-dark line!
But everyone seems to be telling us there isn't one. Including the newspapers.
Rape isn't sex. Rape isn't sexy. Please don't use it for titillation value in your articles. Treat it as the violent and fucked-up crime that it is.
See, look: "Couple has sex on street corner as performance art" is fine. "Man has sex with unconscious woman" is so far from fine it's in a different country. The difference is not hard to learn. And it's not a minor issue. It affects how everyone thinks of sex and rape.
To all newspapers everywhere: Stop. Doing this. To us.
h/t Cara and Liss
Thursday, April 30, 2009
All the little things are going wrong, and a few medium-large things too. Oh and also, I'm having extra fun with PMS! Hooray for moodiness and back pain! I mean, fuck. It feels like everything I do is bound to go wrong, somehow. I'm afraid to drive because this feels like my week for being hit by a car (even though that already happened last week!). It's just been that kind of thing lately.
It leaves me in no mood to blog, be cheerful, be motivated, be businesslike, cook, clean, leave the house...
Actually it leaves me in no mood to do anything but lay on the couch with homemade chocolate-chip cookies and watch Monty Python.
Yes, I am now officially twelve years old. I'm pouting. I don't care.
Look for me to come out of my blue funk in like a week.
Til then, eh.
Monday, April 27, 2009
I like the Bloodhound Gang.
...I know. Put me in Feminist Jail now.
Maybe I'm just trying to make excuses, but they do seem to be offensive in the best way. As in, they make fun of everything and everyone, including themselves. Their mockery isn't just limited to minorities/the powerless, and they seem to go to such an extreme that unlike a Judd Apatow movie *shudder*, there doesn't seem to be much of a risk of anyone taking their "message" seriously. (I'm pretty sure their overall message is: "ha ha, we are a bunch of dorky white boys who get paid to be gross and make cultural and meta references!")
Thing is, I can see a guy doing something misogynist and then referring to a Judd movie to excuse it. I can't see a guy doing something icky and then saying 'I got the idea from the Bloodhound Gang!", because the response he is most likely to get involves a long, disbelieving stare and then the immediate bestowal of The Dumbass of the Year Award.
Then again, I would not have believed people would do the shit they saw on 'Jackass', either. Maybe it's something in the water in this country.
Or maybe I'm just starved for catchy music with clever pop-culture references that doesn't take itself seriously. I can't escape the fact that they're foul. And misogynist. And have gotten less funny over the years.
...Oh damn, I just rationalized myself into a corner.
Well, there's always tomorrow.