Saturday, July 19, 2008

College "journalist" sez: Mocking Rape is Cool! We're cool, man!

"Regardless, dude, yes, many people commenting here do menstruate. I suggest you flee in terror lest someone menstruate at you through the internet. Feminists can do that, you know. They have powers."
...Holy crap, that's funny. It was from a post over at Feministe on John Petroski and his truly awful editorial in the CCSU rag, The Record ("but it was meant to be SATIRE!") on how rape is "a magical experience", wherein he goes on to blather about how the Romans raped the Sabine women to increase their population, and how "fat girls would never know the joys of intercourse with a man who isn’t drunk" if not for date rape.
He then went on to say
"But if there is one bread and butter reason for why rape should not only be accepted, but even endorsed, it is because our news editors are in dire need of interesting stories for our front page. Bookstore stories? Fossils? One dollar coins? Please. Now, some saucy circle-jerk rape action? Yeah, that’s the ticket."
Yeah, rape should be endorsed because it'll make a good front-pager. This guy must not have been reading newspapers lately, being too busy writing them with his deathless wisdom and all.
But hey, he's a real charmer. He's the same guy who wrote another piece about abortion which included gems like “As soon as you get pregnant you no longer have a right to your own body...Once a child grows in your womb, ladies, it should no longer be a question of your right to privacy or your right to choose.” I won't even go into that, except to mutter things about chainsaws.

So, I think we can safely apply the label "priveleged, whiny, misogyinst douchebag" when it comes to this guy and his writing. And what the rape piece means, translated, is: "Even though I'm entitled to sex with any girl I want, they haven't gotten the memo about my wit, charm, and HUGE weenie. So I'll make a bunch of jokes-that-aren't-really-jokes to trivialize rape, which is totally sensationalized anyway, because none of these uppity bitches'll fuck me."

Well, Sparky, a few problems with that. To whit: satire is funny. This wasn't. It was douchebaggery, plain and simple. I had to invoke Poe's Law on this one. Even if rape were an acceptable subject to satirize, you'd have to do it well, and carefully, and in such an exaggerated manner that no one misunderstood. This genius has done none of the above; Jonathan Swift he really ain't.
(For a comparison that's pretty good, check out this post.)

But Johnny-boy still doesn't get what these Humorless Feministstm are getting so upset about, I can tell. So let me make it clear to him, and to all the guys who don't get why rape jokes aren't fucking funny. Here it is, John.
There are- let me bold this- there are men out there who really think like this. Who will read this and feel validated to go out and commit a crime that you trivialized. And it's your fucking fault, John.
If a woman had written something similar about the joys of mass castration (and don't think I haven't been tempted), not only would it not have made the paper, she would've severely disciplined. But this is different, cause we all know rape doesn't really happen to real people.

And of course, there were the usual trolls commenting on how Feminists Can't Take A Joke. Right. Like the way black folks don't think lynching jokes are funny. They just have no sense of humor about being abused, oppressed, and treated as less than human for hundreds of years!
...Oh, wait.
Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit. I think I just made a point! I should write for The Record!
Anyway, the above comment is a reply by commenter ako to one of said trolls who said something like "chill out and put your tampons back in ur[sic] pockets". Not a complete quote, but close enough for morons. Way to raise the intellectual level of the discussion, moron! And thanks to ako for that reply, which had me LOLing all over my keyboard. It got messy for a moment.

Also coming in for lambasting is Mark Rowan, the editor of the paper, who actually printed that shit instead of placing it somewhere it could be appreciated, like the bottom of a hamster cage.
I'm happy to report that from what I hear, most students are outraged, or at the very least, not supportive of the guy. And Petroski did give an apology. A crappy, CYA type apology. In which he called rape a "pseudo-subject". Is that even a word? Seriously? Can we have some real journalists at a college paper, please? Ye gods, my cat could meow something that made more sense than this dipwad's "bold" and "gifted" satire.
I'm sorry, Connecticut. If these guys are yours, I hope you kept the receipt.

...And now I totally want to menstruate on someone through the internet! Where do I sign up for that feminist power?